A Hundred and Eighty Degree Turn...
This is but a short testimony of my life about how God change it (Ok, so maybe it's not too short.:)). Although everyday is a testimony of how God is working in my life, I would like to start by first sharing the most important day of my life: the day that God changed my life.:)
I grew up in the province where everything is serene and quiet, green and beautiful. I grew up appreciating and experiencing the beauty of nature, of God's creation. But despite all the beauty that was before me, I was still discontented with life. I'm the second of 6 daughters and a son (he's only about 6 months old). Growing up in a big family is fun but for some reason, I've always felt like something is missing. I was a serious and very private kid and usually have only one friend. I had a hard time opening up my emotions and I never felt like I belong. I had a lot of insecurities, and most of the time I compare myself to my older sister who is more beautiful and who seem more fun to be with. Everybody seems to like her and she's always part of the activities in school.
The time came when I eventually felt like ending everything. As much as I know that my family loves me, I felt like nobody loves me, I felt that I was a burden to everyone, that everybody would be more at peace if I'm gone, that nobody would care if I'm gone. My depression was that deep. At an early age, I was ready to end everything.
What stopped me then was the what my teachers were saying that if you commit suicide you will go to hell. You see, I came from a Christian school so we had Bible Study class and all that. Since childhood I was taught about the Word of God, that God loves us and that there is a reason for everything. But I never really challenged God's power until that time when I was at the verge of hopelessness. I challenged God that if He is really there, send me someone who would make me feel better, who would show me how to be happy. Man, that's the last time that I challenged God ever.:)
Well, as is said in the Bible, "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened." Matthew 7:7-8. I guess all that God was waiting for was for me to challenge him. He did answer my prayer and send a friend who not only accepted me for who I was but she also encouraged me to grow in my walk with God. That was the start of my life as a Christian.:)
From that day on, God started changing me, my heart, my mind, my life.:) Where before I was insecure, He gave me security in His love; where before I have low self-esteem, He gave me confidence not on what I can do but on what He can do in my life. Indeed, my life took a hundred and eighty degree turn when I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior.
My classmates in highschool kept on saying that I have changed from the reserve and quiet person that I use to be, and my college friends cannot believe that I was such an introvert during highschool. But what they say doesn't really matter...now that I am in Christ, I am secured of my identity in Him.
I realized that there is something more in life than just living it everyday, than just achieving goals and dreams...life is about living it to fullest for the glory of God, to worship and praise Him, to love Him with all our hearts, and to do His will for our lives. Happiness is not found on things that may go away, true happiness and fulfillment is found only in the loving arms and plans of God, through His Son, Jesus Christ, who died on the cross to redeem us from eternal death. Finally, I feel complete.:)
I grew up in the province where everything is serene and quiet, green and beautiful. I grew up appreciating and experiencing the beauty of nature, of God's creation. But despite all the beauty that was before me, I was still discontented with life. I'm the second of 6 daughters and a son (he's only about 6 months old). Growing up in a big family is fun but for some reason, I've always felt like something is missing. I was a serious and very private kid and usually have only one friend. I had a hard time opening up my emotions and I never felt like I belong. I had a lot of insecurities, and most of the time I compare myself to my older sister who is more beautiful and who seem more fun to be with. Everybody seems to like her and she's always part of the activities in school.
The time came when I eventually felt like ending everything. As much as I know that my family loves me, I felt like nobody loves me, I felt that I was a burden to everyone, that everybody would be more at peace if I'm gone, that nobody would care if I'm gone. My depression was that deep. At an early age, I was ready to end everything.
What stopped me then was the what my teachers were saying that if you commit suicide you will go to hell. You see, I came from a Christian school so we had Bible Study class and all that. Since childhood I was taught about the Word of God, that God loves us and that there is a reason for everything. But I never really challenged God's power until that time when I was at the verge of hopelessness. I challenged God that if He is really there, send me someone who would make me feel better, who would show me how to be happy. Man, that's the last time that I challenged God ever.:)
Well, as is said in the Bible, "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened." Matthew 7:7-8. I guess all that God was waiting for was for me to challenge him. He did answer my prayer and send a friend who not only accepted me for who I was but she also encouraged me to grow in my walk with God. That was the start of my life as a Christian.:)
From that day on, God started changing me, my heart, my mind, my life.:) Where before I was insecure, He gave me security in His love; where before I have low self-esteem, He gave me confidence not on what I can do but on what He can do in my life. Indeed, my life took a hundred and eighty degree turn when I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior.
My classmates in highschool kept on saying that I have changed from the reserve and quiet person that I use to be, and my college friends cannot believe that I was such an introvert during highschool. But what they say doesn't really matter...now that I am in Christ, I am secured of my identity in Him.
I realized that there is something more in life than just living it everyday, than just achieving goals and dreams...life is about living it to fullest for the glory of God, to worship and praise Him, to love Him with all our hearts, and to do His will for our lives. Happiness is not found on things that may go away, true happiness and fulfillment is found only in the loving arms and plans of God, through His Son, Jesus Christ, who died on the cross to redeem us from eternal death. Finally, I feel complete.:)
