Courage...

In times of trials and tests, we tend to feel fear and uncertainty about what's happening in our lives and doubt that anything good will come out from such a trying experience. Just recently, I found myself in a situation where my faith and trust in God is stretched way beyond its limit. I thought that I can go through anything that I will experience, good or bad, with a happy heart and a sense of security because I have a God who is, and will always be, in control. To my dismay, when faced with this situation, I felt as unsure and as afraid as a newborn babe who doesn't know what will be the end result of this experience. More than that, I was asking myself, why am I so afraid?!

One thing that I hate the most is being afraid. When I'm afraid, I usually get angry at myself because I see it as a weakness, a weakness that reflects my lack of faith in God; my lack of trust in Him. Maybe some of you might think that I am being too hard on myself, and maybe I am. But my faith is that whenever a storm is raging in my life, I should not fear because God is with me and is in control of everything. So you can just imagine my BIG frustration when I felt fear unlike anything I have ever felt. It was...*sigh* beyond words. However, as much as I am very much afraid, it was still a different experience. Usually, I have the urge to run whenever I have such a great fear. This time, all I feel is the fear, not the urge to run. Also, I easily get angry whenever I feel afraid and I just keep whatever is making me afraid to myself, I don't want anyone to know about it. This time though, I wasn't easily angered and I was sharing most of my fears, if not all, to my friends. So I was thinking, what's different in this situation? Then I read this article that really reminded me what courage is all about. Let me share it with you...

Be Strong and Courageous

Napoleon called Marshall Ney the bravest man he had ever known. Yet Ney's knees trembled so badly one morning before a battle, he had difficulty mounting his horse. When he was finally in the saddle, he shouted contemptuously down at his limbs, "Shake away, knees! You would shake worse than that if you knew where I am going to take you."

Courage is not a matter of being unafraid. It is a matter of taking action even when you are afraid!

Courage is more than shouting with sheer bravado, "I can do this!" and launching out with a "do-or-die" attitude over some reckless dare.

True courage is manifest when you chose to take a difficult of even dangerous course of action simply because it is the right thing to do. Courage is looking beyond yourself to what is best for another.
The Source of all courage is the Holy Spirit, our Comforter. It is His very nature to remain at our side, helping us. When we welcome Him into our lives and He compels us to do something, we can confidently believe that He will be right there, helping us accomplish whatever task He has called us to do.

What more can I say? As much I said the same thing to some of my friends who asked for advices before about fear, I myself forgot about it, at least for a while. Through this article, I am reminded that it's not wrong to be afraid (my friend was also saying that), it's what we do when we are afraid that matters. Looking at how things are in the situation that I'm in right now, I realized that this situation is unique from the others wherein I also experienced fear. This time, God is training me to trust in Him more and to have faith that no matter how hopeless things might seem in my perspective, to God, everything is just going as plan. I guess I’m afraid because this somehow involves my family, what they will say, what they will think. Right now, I am just confident that I am in the right path, the path that God wants me to take. But I still fear. Then I came across Psalm 27:1-3…

¹ The LORD is my light and my salvation — whom shall I fear?
The LORD is the stronghold of my life — of whom shall I be afraid?

² When evil men advance against me to devour my flesh,
when my enemies and my foes attack me, they will stumble and fall.

³ Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear;
though war break out against me, even then will I be confident.

David was right, my confidence is in God, why should I fear? Didn’t God said “…I will never leave you, nor forsake you.” (Joshua 1:5)? People might say things that might hurt me or the people I love, but God is with us always and even though they attack me in any way, I should not fear for God is my light and my salvation, He is the stronghold of my life.

I’m not saying that I will no longer experience or feel fear whenever trials occur in my life, I think that’s impossible. After reading the article I am sure that fear will forever be present in our lives. After all, we are only humans and it is natural that we fear the unknown. But we have a God who has overall dominion over us, so what should I fear? His promise is:

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10

More than that, I know that no matter what happened, I am victorious for God is with me. “No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.” (Romans 8:37). Other version of the Bible states that verse as “Overwhelming victory is ours through Christ who loved us enough to die for us.” (The Living Bible Version)

Honestly, I don’t know how to express what I’m going through right now. But this is all I know: fear will most likely be a part of my life, not in all situations, but in some at least. But I will no longer fear being afraid because I know that God is with me always. After all, God said “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:9).

My prayer right now is Psalm 25:

¹ To you, O LORD, I lift up my soul;

² in you I trust, O my God.
Do not let me be put to shame,
nor let my enemies triumph over me.

³ No one whose hope is in you
will ever be put to shame,
but they will be put to shame
who are treacherous without excuse.

⁴ Show me your ways, O LORD,
teach me your paths;

⁵ guide me in your truth and teach me,
for you are God my Savior,
and my hope is in you all day long.

⁶ Remember, O LORD, your great mercy and love,
for they are from of old.

⁷ Remember not the sins of my youth
and my rebellious ways;
according to your love remember me,
for you are good, O LORD.

⁸ Good and upright is the LORD;
therefore he instructs sinners in his ways.

⁹ He guides the humble in what is right
and teaches them his way.

¹⁰ All the ways of the LORD are loving and faithful
for those who keep the demands of his covenant.

¹¹ For the sake of your name, O LORD,
forgive my iniquity, though it is great.

¹² Who, then, is the man that fears the LORD ?
He will instruct him in the way chosen for him.

¹³ He will spend his days in prosperity,
and his descendants will inherit the land.

¹⁴ The LORD confides in those who fear him;
he makes his covenant known to them.

¹⁵ My eyes are ever on the LORD,
for only he will release my feet from the snare.

¹⁶ Turn to me and be gracious to me,
for I am lonely and afflicted.

¹⁷ The troubles of my heart have multiplied;
free me from my anguish.

¹⁸ Look upon my affliction and my distress
and take away all my sins.

¹⁹ See how my enemies have increased
and how fiercely they hate me!

²⁰ Guard my life and rescue me;
let me not be put to shame,
for I take refuge in you.

²¹ May integrity and uprightness protect me,
because my hope is in you.

²² Redeem Israel, O God,
from all their troubles!

In the mighty name of Jesus, my Lord and my Savior I pray, Amen.