The Life I Walk With God

It's Been A Long Time

2009-11-17T10:36:00.003+08:00

It has been a long time since my last post in this blog, hehe...honestly, I've kinda forgotten about this blog until recently when my friend showed me her blogs from her high school and college years.:) So I will once again try to revive this blog and hope that this time around I will be able to keep it alive, hehe...

A New Year...:)

2007-01-05T19:56:00.000+08:00

A new year has come once again and I have failed to update my blog regularly last year.:) For this year, I will once again do my best to update this blog regularly this year.:) I will keep in mind always to update my blog this year.:) Anyway, Happy New Year to all! May you experience the love and blessings of God this year.:)

Another Song for God.:)

2006-08-04T11:48:00.000+08:00

I heard another song that I really want to dedicate to God.:) It's a song of surrender to God, of being truly greatful for sending His only Son to bring us life.:) I looked for the lyrics of this song but I can't find any, so I transcribed it instead.:) It's sang by the Amazing Life Choir created by Mat Hooper (at least that's what I found out from the net:).) Anyway, here's the song:

Whatever The Cost

You blessed me my God
You brought me close
By your grace and blood
And just, just as you gave
Your Son to bring life
I lay my life down for you

I made up my mind
You're all I want in this world
There's no turning back
I'm pressing on into you

(Chorus1)
Whatever the cost
I'll gladly pay it Lord
Whatever it takes
I will stand for your truth
Your love to see your heart
Poured our on this world

(Chorus2)
No matter how far
I'll run this race for you
No matter how hard
I will stand for your truth
Your love to see your heart
Poured our on this world

This is my song of surrender to God, showing my desire to give everything of me to Him.:)

Hello Blog!

2006-06-29T19:26:00.000+08:00

Whew! Lately I've been so busy that I haven't had time to check up on my blog site. I have so many things that I want to post here.:) I re-read my blog earlier and I realize that setting up this blog is not just for other people but also for myself.:) I have to admit there I have been experiencing some hard times lately, especially with it comes to my emotions, and re-reading some of my entries here reminded me how God is faithful, how He is always with me no matter what happens.:) Hay, it's really refreshing to be able to share something here, as short as this might be, hehe...:) Well, I hope that I'll be able to post a longer and more meaningful entry soon.:)

The Song I Love...:)

2006-06-08T18:18:00.000+08:00

I just want to share the lyrics of the song that I really love.:) The title of the song is Can't Live A Day. The lyrics is very beautiful...it's my love song to God, the cry of my heart to God, my longing for God, how much I long to always be in the presence of God.:)

CAN'T LIVE A DAY

I
I could live life alone
And never fill the longings of my heart
The healing warmth of someone's arms
And I could live without dreams
And never know the thrill of what could be
With every star so far and out of reach
I could live without many things
And I could carry on, but

Chorus:
I couldn't face my life tomorrow
Without Your hope in my heart I know
I can't live a day without You
Lord, there's no night and there's no morning
Without Your loving arms to hold me
You're the heartbeat of all I do
I can't live a day without You

II
I could travel the world
See all the wonders beautiful and new
They'd only make me think of You
And I could have all life offers
Riches that were far beyond compare
To grant my every wish without a care
Oh, I could do anything, oh yes
But if You weren't in it all

Bridge:
Jesus, I live because You live
You're like the air I breathe
Oh Jesus, oh, I have because You give
You're everything to me

Isn't it beautiful?:) I want to share the song with you all but I think I will be violating the law if I do.:) Anyway, it's such an amazing song.:) Hay...:D

Trusting in the Unseen

2006-05-26T12:45:00.000+08:00

John 20:29 Then Jesus told him, "Becase you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed."

Trusting in the Unseen
(by: Debra Klingsporn)

Sitting on my bookshelf is a book published several years ago called The Myth of Certainty. The title alone catches my eye and speaks to me with a ring of truth. How I long for a world of black and white, good and bad, yes and no; a world of clear-cut distinctions and effortless decisions because the good and bad can be easily identified. No blurring rationalizations. No complicating considerations.
But clear-cut distinctions and effortless choices aren't true to my experience in life. Between black and white are shades of gray. Between good and bad are confusing questions. Between yes and no is a strong maybe.
The fact of the matter is, no matter how black and white and absolute some defenders of the faith portray the gospel, I simply can't buy that line. My experience and the experience of people of faith throughout the centuries, is one of a God who meets us in the questions, who honors our seeking, and who created us to be intelligent beings. When it comes to faith, if we're looking for proof and certainty, we won't find it.
Living at the heart of faith is living with uncertainty, trusting in the unseen. Somewhere along the way, we have to leap the chasm between that which we know absolutely and that which calls us from within. Yet even in our uncertainty, we walk in the presence of the holy.
God is far more interested in our honesty than our piety. We have only to offer him a willing heart and truthful spirit and he'll take it from there, meeting us in the chasm as we make the leap.

Everyday I live life with uncertainty. Will I be able to do everything that I planned for the day? Will I be able to deliver everything with excellence? Will I still have a job at the end of the day? Will I go home happy? Everyday is full of questions. But in this life of uncertainty, I find comfort from a very certain God. Everyday, as I ask my questions, as I experience confusion and fear from uncertainty, I remember the promises given to me by God through His son Jesus Christ.

* "By faith in the name of Jesus, this man whom you see and know was made strong."
Acts 3:16
* "No one will be able to stand up against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you." Joshua 1:5
* "Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9
* "...Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks find; and to him who knocks, the door will be open." Luke 11:9-10

These are just some of verses containing God's promises and assurances to us. And God doesn't just assure us that He is always with us, He encourages us to seek him, and to ask for what we desire. Will I continue to live life in uncertainty? Most likely. After all, certainty is present only if we are definite on how things will go and what will happen. Will I continue to live life in confusion and fear? By God's grace, No, because God is with me everyday.:)

Shark!!!

2006-05-22T12:48:00.000+08:00

A friend of mine email me this joke. I find it funny, but then again, it also makes me think...why the shark?:)

There is this atheist swimming in the ocean. All of a sudden he sees a shark in the water, so he starts swimming furiously towards his boat.
As he looks back, he sees the shark turn and head towards him. He's scared to death, and as he sees the jaws of the great white beast open, revealing its horrific teeth, the atheist screams, "Oh God! Save me!"
In an instant, time is frozen and a bright light shines down from above. The man is motionless in the water when he hears the voice of God say, "You are an atheist. Why do you call upon me when you do not believe in me?"
Confused, and knowing he can't lie, the man replies, "Well, that's true I don't believe in you, but how about the shark? Can you make the shark believe in you?"
The Lord replies, "As you wish," and the light retracts back into the heavens. The man feels the water move once again.
As the atheist looks back, he can see the jaws of the shark start to close down on him, when all of sudden the shark stops and pulls back.
Shocked, the man watches as the huge beast closes its eyes, bows its head and says, "Thank you Lord for this food which I am about to receive..."

Isn't it amazing how God could have change the mind of the man but chose not to? Have you ever thought how God could have change everybody's mind and have all of us believe in Him, but chose not to? He definitely is more than powerful enough to do it, after all, he created the whole universe simply by saying it, "And God said,'Let there be light,' and there was light." (Genesis 1:3). It is possible for God to give us the faith and trust in Him so that we won't go against Him, but He didn't do it. If you're going to think about it, it's the easiest thing to do. With just saying it, God can make us all believe in Him, whether we like it or not. However, God didn't do it. He doesn't work that way, and He doesn't love that way.

One of the greatest gift that God has given us, man, His greatest creation made in His image, is free will. And you can see from the old testament all the way to the new testament that God never force people to believe something that they don't want to believe. It doesn't mean that the people are right, more often than not, they're wrong and therefore suffer in the end. But God loves us so much that He doesn't want to make us into a robot who just follow and obey everything that He says. Would you like to live like a robot? I sure don't. But God still want us to be with Him in heaven, so what He did was to send His only son, Jesus Christ, to die for our sins. The only thing that He asks us is to believe. "For God so love the world that he gave his only begotten son whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." (John 3:16) Just believe.:)

My Thoughts...

2006-04-07T10:49:00.000+08:00

Well, it's almost summer vacation and I'm kind of excited to take a rest after a year of studying and working. Although I think I'm going to be bored some days but I believe my vacation will still be meaningful, after all, I'm going to prepare for my wedding.:D I'm excited to do that, though a bit scared as well, but I'm confident that God will guide me through every decision that has to be made.:) I want this occassion to be perfect not only for me and my fiance but also for God. After all, He is the one who brought me and my fiance together.:)

Anyway, I'm still going through some tests now, and sometimes it's so hard to stay focus on God. There are times when I think what else can I do to make amends? Or to make them accept my decision? But in the end, I am always reminded that God is in control of everything. There are times that it's so hard to stay optimistic about the whole situation, or to even have hope that all these tests will come to an end, but God never fails to remind me that He is beside me, guiding me, carrying me in these times of troubles. As I look forward to the free time that I'll be having this vacation, I am also wary of what might happen. Sometimes I just want to run away from all of these problems but I know that running away will not resolve anything. My friends and spiritual family never fails to encourage me to endure and to persevere and they are always there to listen to my hurts and my anger.

I am really thankful that God placed me in a supportive spritual family. They always remind me that trials and tests are Gods method of changing our character. That God also promised that he will never leave me, that when I face trials He will be there to help. Romans 5:3-5 says,

"Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.""

Aside from that, I know that there is also a reason why God allows hardship to enter our lives. James 1:2-4 says,

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

I have to admit that sometimes I forget these promises of God, especially when nothing I do seems to make an effect, when I am pressed on every side, and every day seems to be a test to me. But God never fails to remind me that He is in control of everything, that he is beside me. I am thankful.:) As hard as things might seem right now, I know that God has a plan, a reason why he's allowing it to happen. In the end, I will learn something from this experience, something will be developed in me and I will be more equip to do the good, pleasing and perfect will God has for my life.:)

Held Up to God's Light...

2006-04-03T11:07:00.000+08:00

Here's another article that I want to share.:)

Malachi 3:17 "'They will be mine,'" says the Lord Almighty, 'in the day when I make up my treasured possession...'"

Held Up to God's Light
(by: Connie Neal)

I want to spend my time here on earth allowing God's light to shine throuugh my life. I love Isaiah's prophecy, in 61:3, that God wants to use us to display his splendor. God says we're like priceless jewels. He wants to use us to reflect his own light and beauty. Malachi 3:17 tells us, "'They wil be mine,' says the Lord Almighty, 'in the day when I make up my treasured possession.'" God looks at us and sees a special treasure, a fine jewel.
Sure, we all have imperfections. We live in an imperfect world. God does not intend us to be flawless in this life. Our created purpose is to let God's light shine through every facet of our being, expressing his colors and beauty through us in ways no one else can.
If you look at a ring under the microscope every day and become intimately familiar with every flaw, you might be embarassed by it. But that is not how God meant the beauty of diamonds to be seen. The beauty of a diamond is seen when someone holds it up in the sunlight and everyone can see it sparkle.
We are not to misuse our time on this earth, focusing on every little flaw within us. We are created to shine with the light of God's creative genius. Everything about you could be appreicated as a unique part of God's masterpiece of creation or despised as somehow inferior to someone else's attributes, talents, abilities or situation.
When you appreicate yourself in all your uniqueness, you will dare to hold your life up to the light. You will dare to live out the beauty you were created to express. You will keep your life cleaned and polished with the forgiveness of God.

Life is not just about achieving or being successfull in everything that we do, life is about living it to the fullest, experiencing all the failures and hardships of life, and still being able to smile and have hope for the future. Each and every one of us is created uniquely by God, each with our own strengths and weaknesses, but having our own destiny and purpose in this life. How you live your life is a choice and a decision that only you can make. Live it wisely.:)

Shattered Glass...

2006-03-03T08:57:00.000+08:00

Here is an article that I read in my devotional Bible that really touched me. I want to share it to you all.:)

John 9:5
Jesus said, "While I am in the world, I am the light of the world."

Shattered Glass
(by: Jano Eareckson Tada)

My art studio is a mess of half-chewed pastel pencils, old tubes of paint and piles of illustrations overflowing my file drawers. Recently while cleaning up, I discovered some broken glass on the counter by the window. I also discovered that when sunlight struck the shattered glass, brilliant, colorful rays scattred everywhere.

Shattered glass is full of a thousand different angels, each one picking up a ray of ligh and shooting it off in a thousand directions. That doesn't happen with plain glass, such as a jar. The glass much be broken into many pieces.

What's true of shattered glass is tru of a broken life. Shattered dreams. A heart full of fissures. Hopes that are splintered. A life in pieces that appears to be ruined. But given time and prayer, such a person's life can shine more brightly than if the brokenness had never happened. When the light of the Lord Jesus falls upon a shattered life, that believer's hopes can be brightened.

Only our great God can reach down into what otherwise would be brokenness and produce something beautiful. with him, nothing is wasted. Ever broken dream and heart that hurts can be redeemed by his loving, warn touch. Your life may be shattered by sorrow, pain or sin, but God has in mind a kaleidoscope through which his light can shine more brilliantly.

A Hundred and Eighty Degree Turn...

2006-02-02T10:31:00.000+08:00

This is but a short testimony of my life about how God change it (Ok, so maybe it's not too short.:)). Although everyday is a testimony of how God is working in my life, I would like to start by first sharing the most important day of my life: the day that God changed my life.:)

I grew up in the province where everything is serene and quiet, green and beautiful. I grew up appreciating and experiencing the beauty of nature, of God's creation. But despite all the beauty that was before me, I was still discontented with life. I'm the second of 6 daughters and a son (he's only about 6 months old). Growing up in a big family is fun but for some reason, I've always felt like something is missing. I was a serious and very private kid and usually have only one friend. I had a hard time opening up my emotions and I never felt like I belong. I had a lot of insecurities, and most of the time I compare myself to my older sister who is more beautiful and who seem more fun to be with. Everybody seems to like her and she's always part of the activities in school.

The time came when I eventually felt like ending everything. As much as I know that my family loves me, I felt like nobody loves me, I felt that I was a burden to everyone, that everybody would be more at peace if I'm gone, that nobody would care if I'm gone. My depression was that deep. At an early age, I was ready to end everything.

What stopped me then was the what my teachers were saying that if you commit suicide you will go to hell. You see, I came from a Christian school so we had Bible Study class and all that. Since childhood I was taught about the Word of God, that God loves us and that there is a reason for everything. But I never really challenged God's power until that time when I was at the verge of hopelessness. I challenged God that if He is really there, send me someone who would make me feel better, who would show me how to be happy. Man, that's the last time that I challenged God ever.:)

Well, as is said in the Bible, "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened." Matthew 7:7-8. I guess all that God was waiting for was for me to challenge him. He did answer my prayer and send a friend who not only accepted me for who I was but she also encouraged me to grow in my walk with God. That was the start of my life as a Christian.:)

From that day on, God started changing me, my heart, my mind, my life.:) Where before I was insecure, He gave me security in His love; where before I have low self-esteem, He gave me confidence not on what I can do but on what He can do in my life. Indeed, my life took a hundred and eighty degree turn when I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior.

My classmates in highschool kept on saying that I have changed from the reserve and quiet person that I use to be, and my college friends cannot believe that I was such an introvert during highschool. But what they say doesn't really matter...now that I am in Christ, I am secured of my identity in Him.

I realized that there is something more in life than just living it everyday, than just achieving goals and dreams...life is about living it to fullest for the glory of God, to worship and praise Him, to love Him with all our hearts, and to do His will for our lives. Happiness is not found on things that may go away, true happiness and fulfillment is found only in the loving arms and plans of God, through His Son, Jesus Christ, who died on the cross to redeem us from eternal death. Finally, I feel complete.:)

I Realized...

2006-01-31T16:08:00.000+08:00

 Last week, I had my students (I'm a part time faculty in a university) create their own personal web page where they can put anything they want so long as it's wholesome. And since I was busy with my exams last week (I'm also studying law at night), I wasn't able to check their work until just now. As I read through the web page that they created, I realized that most of them are seeking acceptance, love, someone to just accept them for who they are. Through their web page, I was able to get a glimpse of what the youth nowadays are looking for, what they desire.

 I really empathize with these youths because I went through the same thing as I was growing up(don't we all?), and I really want to reach out to them and share how I was able to find the security I know they are longing for. I probably will try to reach out to them, although I still have to pray to God about it.:)

 I have always find it a challenge to approach others who I would like to share some of my experiences because I'm use to being asked first before saying anything. But reading the web pages of my students made me realize that I shouldn' t be concern about sharing my thoughts and my emotions to others. So for this year, one of my faith goals will be to be more open about my emotions and thoughts. I believe that the reason why God allows us to experience hardships and trials in life is for us to encourage others who will go through similar experiences. A gift was given to me in times of trials, that gift I would share to others who might appreciate the same gift. :)

A Very Exciting Year!

2006-01-18T12:40:00.000+08:00

Well, this is my very first post this year. I have been meaning to post something for the past few weeks but things have been so hectic that I don't know what to do and when to do it. If you came across this blog because of the link that my fiance inserted in his blog, you won't see much here, hehe...:D

But I will do my best to post more entries this year.:) I really want to share everything that's been happening in my life, the revelations that God has shown me; the total happiness that I never thought I would experience; the realization that only God can fulfill me in every way...:)

Well, I'll end here for now, still have tons to do.:) Happy New Year to All!!! (although it's kinda late, hehe...:D Better late than never.;))

My Baby Bro!!!

2005-10-03T10:25:00.000+08:00

For the first time since he was born, I was able to spend time with my two month old brother. He's sooo cute!!! He's a cry baby though, but I love him sooo much.:D I wasn't able to sleep much last night because he was crying the whole night and my mom is so tired so I took over. I don't care, I enjoyed it.:D He's so precious...and to think a lot of people were against my mom's pregnancy because she's already classified as a high risk because she's already 45 years old and she gave birth 6 times already and had 3 miscarriages ( I know, I know, we are a big family...:D), by the way, did I mention that all six of us are girls? So you can just imagine how excited my dad was and is when my baby brother came to be.:) And to think my parents weren't even trying to make a baby when my mom blessedly got pregnant. I can still remember the time when some of my relatives were downright mean in saying that the baby will come out with abnormalities, but God is more powerful than anything that people will ever say. :) Man, did I surround my mom and the baby (at that time) with prayers and God is so good for He ALWAYS answers our prayers, maybe not always with a yes, but always with what is best.:D

Anyway, lets go back to my baby brother, he's sooo cute!!! He was born July 29 of 2005 and his name is Jose Gabriel, cute noh!:D Everybody is saying that among us all, he's the most beautiful baby.:) His name means God will add (Jose) and God is my strength (Gabriel). Ganda ng name nya!!!:D Just like he is.:D His skin is so fair, flawless, as in! cute nose, small lips, beautiful eyes, cute chin, pinchable face...my dad is already saying that he's going to be a ladies man when he grow up.:) I hope not though, I will be praying that he will grow up to be a godly man who will follow God's will and plans for his life.:) My dad is really proud of my baby bro. I am too.:D He's just so sweet and precious.:) I'm just a bit sad that I won't be able to see him that much since they'll be going back to bicol today and I will be staying here in manila. But I know that I will be seeing him more.:)

Trust in the Lord...

2005-09-28T05:30:00.000+08:00

Psalm 37

Of David.

¹ Do not fret because of evil men
or be envious of those who do wrong;

² for like the grass they will soon wither,
like green plants they will soon die away.

³ Trust in the LORD and do good;
dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.

⁴ Delight yourself in the LORD
and he will give you the desires of your heart.

⁵ Commit your way to the LORD;
trust in him and he will do this:

⁶ He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn,
the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.

⁷ Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him;
do not fret when men succeed in their ways,
when they carry out their wicked schemes.

⁸ Refrain from anger and turn from wrath;
do not fret—it leads only to evil.

⁹ For evil men will be cut off,
but those who hope in the LORD will inherit the land.

¹⁰ A little while, and the wicked will be no more;
though you look for them, they will not be found.

¹¹ But the meek will inherit the land
and enjoy great peace.

¹² The wicked plot against the righteous
and gnash their teeth at them;

¹³ but the Lord laughs at the wicked,
for he knows their day is coming.

¹⁴ The wicked draw the sword
and bend the bow
to bring down the poor and needy,
to slay those whose ways are upright.

¹⁵ But their swords will pierce their own hearts,
and their bows will be broken.

¹⁶ Better the little that the righteous have
than the wealth of many wicked;

¹⁷ for the power of the wicked will be broken,
but the LORD upholds the righteous.

¹⁸ The days of the blameless are known to the LORD,
and their inheritance will endure forever.

¹⁹ In times of disaster they will not wither;
in days of famine they will enjoy plenty.

²⁰ But the wicked will perish:
The LORD's enemies will be like the beauty of the fields,
they will vanish—vanish like smoke.

²¹ The wicked borrow and do not repay,
but the righteous give generously;

²² those the LORD blesses will inherit the land,
but those he curses will be cut off.

²³ If the LORD delights in a man's way,
he makes his steps firm;

²⁴ though he stumble, he will not fall,
for the LORD upholds him with his hand.

²⁵ I was young and now I am old,
yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken
or their children begging bread.

²⁶ They are always generous and lend freely;
their children will be blessed.

²⁷ Turn from evil and do good;
then you will dwell in the land forever.

²⁸ For the LORD loves the just
and will not forsake his faithful ones.
They will be protected forever,
but the offspring of the wicked will be cut off;

²⁹ the righteous will inherit the land
and dwell in it forever.

³⁰ The mouth of the righteous man utters wisdom,
and his tongue speaks what is just.

³¹ The law of his God is in his heart;
his feet do not slip.

³² The wicked lie in wait for the righteous,
seeking their very lives;

³³ but the LORD will not leave them in their power
or let them be condemned when brought to trial.

³⁴ Wait for the LORD
and keep his way.
He will exalt you to inherit the land;
when the wicked are cut off, you will see it.

³⁵ I have seen a wicked and ruthless man
flourishing like a green tree in its native soil,

³⁶ but he soon passed away and was no more;
though I looked for him, he could not be found.

³⁷ Consider the blameless, observe the upright;
there is a future for the man of peace.

³⁸ But all sinners will be destroyed;
the future of the wicked will be cut off.

³⁹ The salvation of the righteous comes from the LORD;
he is their stronghold in time of trouble.

⁴⁰ The LORD helps them and delivers them;
he delivers them from the wicked and saves them,
because they take refuge in him.

God has been teaching me new things these days through the trials that I’m going through. Although He’s always teaching me new things, the situation now is unique and I guess it will only happen once in my lifetime. It’s hard, the trials that I’m going through right now, but God made sure that I have peace in my heart. This psalm is God’s reminder to me that he is in control of everything, that all He asks is that I trust in Him fully and seek Him first in everything. v3 said “Trust in the Lord and do good…” In everything that we do, we must always trust God and we must never forget to do good, even if things might seem unfair and hard, even though you feel hurt and angry, we should always do good. I’m not telling you to become martyrs, far from it. What I’m saying here is that even though you are angry and hurt, we should not sin, we shouldn’t do something bad. “In your anger, do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry…” Ephesians 2:26 Rather than being angry, lets just lift up everything to God and believe that even though you are feeling pain and are hurting, God is doing something in your life and in the lives of other people. Let me share to you something that happened to me yesterday.

A few weeks ago, I received an email from a friend (well, at least for me he is a friend) telling me in not so many words that I should stop sending him emails because I don’t send anything useful anyway and that my emails are just a waste of his email space and time. Mind you, I rarely forward messages to my friends and when I do, it’s simply my way of saying that I haven’t forgotten about you or that you are being remembered. So I nicely apologized to him and told him that it won’t happen again. Much to my surprise, he replied and said good because I was just wasting his time and that I should get a life. I was naturally hurt and angry. Since I was in the office, I couldn’t just break down and cry so I was really trying to fight my tears. Anyway, one of my friends said that I should just pray for him, and I found out that I can’t. I was that hurt and angry at what he said. I can’t really help it since I never thought that he is that kind of a person. So anyway, when my friend left for his class I asked God, “why am I feeling this so much pain for something that a person said that I know is not true anyway?”

Sometimes, it’s hard to forgive people who have hurt us, especially if we believe that we don’t deserve such treatment. I know I didn’t. More than that, we sometimes can't see how God is working in our lives. How can He really work in our lives if all that we are feeling are pain and hurt? How can we see His goodness when all that we are experiencing are bad things? If we look at v7, it is said there, "be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him;" God has a reason for everything that is happening in our lives, all that we have to do is trust in Him because God's will is perfect, His plans for you and me are beautiful and perfect, not lacking anything. Never lose hope and say that God is not hearing your prayers or that God is not good to you because He is. The question is, are you seeking His will or are you doing your own will? If you are experiencing hardships or trials in your life, is it because of your own doing or is God trying to call you but you don't want to listen to Him? v4 said, "Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart."

Courage...

2005-09-22T07:05:00.000+08:00

In times of trials and tests, we tend to feel fear and uncertainty about what's happening in our lives and doubt that anything good will come out from such a trying experience. Just recently, I found myself in a situation where my faith and trust in God is stretched way beyond its limit. I thought that I can go through anything that I will experience, good or bad, with a happy heart and a sense of security because I have a God who is, and will always be, in control. To my dismay, when faced with this situation, I felt as unsure and as afraid as a newborn babe who doesn't know what will be the end result of this experience. More than that, I was asking myself, why am I so afraid?!

One thing that I hate the most is being afraid. When I'm afraid, I usually get angry at myself because I see it as a weakness, a weakness that reflects my lack of faith in God; my lack of trust in Him. Maybe some of you might think that I am being too hard on myself, and maybe I am. But my faith is that whenever a storm is raging in my life, I should not fear because God is with me and is in control of everything. So you can just imagine my BIG frustration when I felt fear unlike anything I have ever felt. It was...*sigh* beyond words. However, as much as I am very much afraid, it was still a different experience. Usually, I have the urge to run whenever I have such a great fear. This time, all I feel is the fear, not the urge to run. Also, I easily get angry whenever I feel afraid and I just keep whatever is making me afraid to myself, I don't want anyone to know about it. This time though, I wasn't easily angered and I was sharing most of my fears, if not all, to my friends. So I was thinking, what's different in this situation? Then I read this article that really reminded me what courage is all about. Let me share it with you...

Be Strong and Courageous

Napoleon called Marshall Ney the bravest man he had ever known. Yet Ney's knees trembled so badly one morning before a battle, he had difficulty mounting his horse. When he was finally in the saddle, he shouted contemptuously down at his limbs, "Shake away, knees! You would shake worse than that if you knew where I am going to take you."

Courage is not a matter of being unafraid. It is a matter of taking action even when you are afraid!

Courage is more than shouting with sheer bravado, "I can do this!" and launching out with a "do-or-die" attitude over some reckless dare.

True courage is manifest when you chose to take a difficult of even dangerous course of action simply because it is the right thing to do. Courage is looking beyond yourself to what is best for another.
The Source of all courage is the Holy Spirit, our Comforter. It is His very nature to remain at our side, helping us. When we welcome Him into our lives and He compels us to do something, we can confidently believe that He will be right there, helping us accomplish whatever task He has called us to do.

What more can I say? As much I said the same thing to some of my friends who asked for advices before about fear, I myself forgot about it, at least for a while. Through this article, I am reminded that it's not wrong to be afraid (my friend was also saying that), it's what we do when we are afraid that matters. Looking at how things are in the situation that I'm in right now, I realized that this situation is unique from the others wherein I also experienced fear. This time, God is training me to trust in Him more and to have faith that no matter how hopeless things might seem in my perspective, to God, everything is just going as plan. I guess I’m afraid because this somehow involves my family, what they will say, what they will think. Right now, I am just confident that I am in the right path, the path that God wants me to take. But I still fear. Then I came across Psalm 27:1-3…

¹ The LORD is my light and my salvation — whom shall I fear?
The LORD is the stronghold of my life — of whom shall I be afraid?

² When evil men advance against me to devour my flesh,
when my enemies and my foes attack me, they will stumble and fall.

³ Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear;
though war break out against me, even then will I be confident.

David was right, my confidence is in God, why should I fear? Didn’t God said “…I will never leave you, nor forsake you.” (Joshua 1:5)? People might say things that might hurt me or the people I love, but God is with us always and even though they attack me in any way, I should not fear for God is my light and my salvation, He is the stronghold of my life.

I’m not saying that I will no longer experience or feel fear whenever trials occur in my life, I think that’s impossible. After reading the article I am sure that fear will forever be present in our lives. After all, we are only humans and it is natural that we fear the unknown. But we have a God who has overall dominion over us, so what should I fear? His promise is:

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10

More than that, I know that no matter what happened, I am victorious for God is with me. “No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.” (Romans 8:37). Other version of the Bible states that verse as “Overwhelming victory is ours through Christ who loved us enough to die for us.” (The Living Bible Version)

Honestly, I don’t know how to express what I’m going through right now. But this is all I know: fear will most likely be a part of my life, not in all situations, but in some at least. But I will no longer fear being afraid because I know that God is with me always. After all, God said “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:9).

My prayer right now is Psalm 25:

¹To you, O LORD, I lift up my soul;

² in you I trust, O my God.
Do not let me be put to shame,
nor let my enemies triumph over me.

³ No one whose hope is in you
will ever be put to shame,
but they will be put to shame
who are treacherous without excuse.

⁴ Show me your ways, O LORD,
teach me your paths;

⁵ guide me in your truth and teach me,
for you are God my Savior,
and my hope is in you all day long.

⁶ Remember, O LORD, your great mercy and love,
for they are from of old.

⁷ Remember not the sins of my youth
and my rebellious ways;
according to your love remember me,
for you are good, O LORD.

⁸ Good and upright is the LORD;
therefore he instructs sinners in his ways.

⁹ He guides the humble in what is right
and teaches them his way.

¹⁰ All the ways of the LORD are loving and faithful
for those who keep the demands of his covenant.

¹¹ For the sake of your name, O LORD,
forgive my iniquity, though it is great.

¹² Who, then, is the man that fears the LORD ?
He will instruct him in the way chosen for him.

¹³ He will spend his days in prosperity,
and his descendants will inherit the land.

¹⁴ The LORD confides in those who fear him;
he makes his covenant known to them.

¹⁵ My eyes are ever on the LORD,
for only he will release my feet from the snare.

¹⁶ Turn to me and be gracious to me,
for I am lonely and afflicted.

¹⁷ The troubles of my heart have multiplied;
free me from my anguish.

¹⁸ Look upon my affliction and my distress
and take away all my sins.

¹⁹ See how my enemies have increased
and how fiercely they hate me!

²⁰ Guard my life and rescue me;
let me not be put to shame,
for I take refuge in you.

²¹ May integrity and uprightness protect me,
because my hope is in you.

²² Redeem Israel, O God,
from all their troubles!

In the mighty name of Jesus, my Lord and my Savior I pray, Amen.

First entry for the year...

2005-01-19T13:35:00.000+08:00

Finally, I have free time to make an entry in my blogspot. *sigh* Things have been so hectic lately that I don't even have much time to make my lesson plan. But all things considered, I still enjoy my days (although I always look forward to getting home.:)). I'm not enjoying my day that much though. First, I don't feel so good, I think my sinusitis is acting up again. Secondly, my students this term is so hard to teach, they are so noisy, and a lot of them wants to become supervisors (meaning they keep on standing up and going around the room). *sigh* I have to think of a new approach in teaching. I'm open for comments/suggestions should anyone see my blog.:)

Merry Christmas!

2004-12-21T12:46:00.000+08:00

Ok, so I haven't been updating my blog site, I don't really have the time. Maybe I can just write my thoughts and then post them here...hmmm...

Anyway, before the year ends, I just want to greet all of you who might accidentally see my blog site a Blessed Christmas and a prosperous New Year.:) I will pray that the coming year will have nothing but happiness and contentment for all of you.:) Let us not forget the true meaning of Christmas. It's not just about giving and receiving gifts, it's about the birth of Jesus Christ, out saviour, sent to us by God to save us from our sins. "For God so love the world that he gave his only son that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16 Isn't it amazing?:D

Anyway, before I go to my province (Bicol), I want to make sure that I will be able to at least post a new message. I'll try to update my blog site more next year. See yah!:D

Welcome to my Blog!

2004-11-30T12:10:00.000+08:00

Hi! As of a few minutes ago, my friend, who is a blog junkie, is trying to hypnotize me to also become a blog junkie. Let's see if her power is strong enough to change my original opinion that I will not become a blog junkie. Ok, I'll stop here 'coz she's right beside me and I might receive some unwanted... pat(?). Well, I do expect to have fun posting my thoughts here. CIAO!!!:D